If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
