You're completely useless in the revolution.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
