margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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