tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
