this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
