I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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