Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
