I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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