I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize