Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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