somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So vagazzling was a success
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
