on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
soo... how was my night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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