sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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