i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
