his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
40s are totally the cure
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
