Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
