O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
