Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
