hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize