I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
