i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
