yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
