How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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