Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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