Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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