found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
