Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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