I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
