Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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