I hate all girls vehemently.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
