$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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