i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They took my balls.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
