I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let's get the cat blown out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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