I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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