You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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