I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize