she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Houston, we have a squirter
Can I color on your dick again?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
