you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
