Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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