It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
