just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
