i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
