i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
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Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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