i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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