thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
