Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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