had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
