If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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