So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
