Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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