Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
