so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
