But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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