Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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