So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
