he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
