I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
