Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
