wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
