would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
