This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize