come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
