new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
