I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
