He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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