I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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