There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
